A fresh face to the world of fantasy writing, you can t go wrong with the new novelist, Brittany Comeaux s book, Deliverance From start to finish I couldn t put it down The characters come to life between the pages of her book and take you right along on their adventure Make sure not to miss the chance to read Deliverance Its a must read On A Cold Winter Night, The Kingdom Of Daldussa Invaded Cierith, A Peaceful And Prosperous Kingdom The King Of Daldussa, Bogdan, Murdered The King And Queen Of Cierith In Cold Blood While Their Young Daughter Watched In Horror Bogdan Then Proclaimed Himself Dictator Of The Conquered LandTen Years Later, The Princess Of Cierith, Now Under The Alias Crystal, Is The Leader Of A Rebel Group Called Deliverance And She Uses Her Magic To Fight Bogdan S Tyranny She Has Many Friends And Allies Who Aid Her, Including Blaze, King Bogdan S Only Son Cast Aside By His Cruel Father, Prince Blaze Joins The Rebellion Bent On RevengeSoon Crystal And Blaze Will Discover That They Must Both Fight For Their Lives Not Only To Protect Everyone Else They Hold Dear, But Each Other As WellAuthor S Facebook Page My biggest complaint with the book is in the voicing It is inherently juvenile, and all the characters have this same voice, which made it impossible for me to connect with any of them There is a lot of dialogue and it really grated on me to read about adult characters yelling at each other to SHUT UP between every plot point I find this to be unacceptable behavior when one person disagrees with another I m sure others would enjoy the bookthan I did for this reason, as its audience is aimed at younger readers.I was interested to see the ending and I particularly enjoyed the solution of the conflict I find the concept of f s being a sort of saintly trait as a novel idea This story has the potential to be greatly appreciated by fans of YA fantasy, but first it needs thorough revision by an editor and correction of technical errors. This was an alright book, good quick fun read Found it after I saw her other book on Goodreads the White Wolf read the first 3 chapters on Facebook and decided to check this one out.Looking forward to the White Wolf though, that preview for it on FB has me waiting. I had been following the author for some time now on their Deviantart account, which is how I came about this novel I m not an avid fantasy reader, but I figured I d give this one a shot.Unfortunately, things didn t start off so great While reading through the first few paragraphs of the prologue, I found myself re reading sections over a few times to get a grip on things The wording is rather bland and vague making it difficult to follow The number of mistakes was rather striking, especially after hearing that this version I was reading was recently updated The issues were VERY obvious there was even one in the first sentence and I found it hard to believe so many things could be missed Poor wording, grammar, tenses, spelling, etc That s leaving out things like little to no detail, confusing descriptions, repetitive wording, no unique character voices, etc.An example of repetitive wording For ten years, the power hungry king had occupied the castle and had allowed the soldiers to occupy the cities and order all civilians around Chapter 1.Things like this appear almost every other paragraph.Lacking in detail The general removed his helmet to reveal a soft, sad expression Prologue.What did his face look like Skin color Age This sentence felt like it was supposed to be significant since the very next sentence following it explained that his fellow soldiers had never seen such an expression from him before, but it fell flat to me.Awkward wording The hall was built on a large, rocky hill that had apparently been carved away to add the hall, for the walls on the sides of the building were covered in rock and the steps in the front of the hall had been carved into the hill Chapter 1.I don t want to state such poor things about a book, especially for an indie author, but this novel could definitely benefit fromproofreading.The lack of emotion was also prevalent, even in the opening scenes A massacre had just happened and, while people were described as being distraught and broken, there was nothing there behind those few words I didn t feel like they were distraught and broken, I was told This isn t just limited to emotion, scenery and buildings are also not shown , I m just told they re there The overall writing style seemed rather juvenile, even if it is supposed to be aimed at a younger audience Even though dwarves and elves never got along Why don t they get along What issues are there between them What are the politics This is the only time this is ever mentioned It has no impact on the story what so ever One could argue the main dwarf and elf character, but that could be chalked up to general friendly rivalry He wasn t abnormal in size What does that mean Taryn was a halfling Halflings were beings that were very small, roughly half the height of a human, but they were very fast and nearly impossible to catch off guard This doesn t explain that much about them, I still don t understand what a halfling is Regardless of how intimate my knowledge is on general fantasy characters, given the indefinite number of ways they can be changed and represented, depending on the worlds one wants to create, they should bedeeply described Similar with the elves and dwarves.There is so much lack of world building and I m not even all the way through the first chapter To be clear, I finished the book, and this is still true For fantasy books, world building is CRUCIAL I have no idea of the rules of this world, what the people are like, the politics, anything A lot of the plot is lacking purpose Explanations are given, conversations are had, and the story evolves, but it has no meaning.As an example, in chapter four view spoiler The rebels have the king, prince, and traitorous elder at their grasp, yet they choose mano y mano Why It felt like it wasfor the purpose of dragging out the plot and story, perhaps even filler before theinteresting scenes happen, than describing the morals and the characters view on stereotypical honor pride hide spoiler The first indie book I have ever read Came upon the author s profile on DeviantArt, containing some excerpts and drawings, and I thought to give it a try It is a good novel, better than many mass published fantasy books, and I was pleasantly surprised.The strongest point is the plot Crystal, an exiled princess together with her friends and later joined by the enemy king s son, Blaze must find several magical shards in order to avert a great menace They go through various adventures the quest for each shard is radically different , and finally triumph over evil The plot twists and the ending were great.The characters are so and so The main characters are well developed are generally likeable, but the male characters are not well written Blaze s lovestruck phase and behaviour in general is kind of unrealistic I cannot imagine a man acting or talking like him.The writing is great, the language generally flows well and is never tedious.The weakest point is the dialogue the characters often over discuss things, keep stating or repeating obvious things, and their voices are sometimes artificial.Note I read the first edition paperback version in 2012 I can see that currently it is at its 4th edition, presumably revised several times.
I have been writing stories since I was 11 years old Reading Harry Potter and the Sorcerer s Stone is what got me into fantasy I also occasionally like a good murder mystery or thriller.I live with my husband and daughter in Southwestern Louisiana.To follow me on Facebook, follow this link
- 230 pages
- Brittany Comeaux
- 02 August 2018 Brittany Comeaux