This was an informative book that I plan to reference for years to come Of course we all want our children to be healthy, happy, and worry free Adoptive parents know that their children face many difficult issues I must admit this book was emotionally draining because it brought up challenge upon challenge Quite frankly it was heartbreaking Hopefully by applying Cogen s techniques, I will be a better adoptive parent and help my children overcome their fears and insecurities. Worthwhile reading for anyone who has adopted, internationally or not I skimmed some of the international specific parts but the book overall is extremely insightful for anyone parenting a child with trauma i.e., anyone parenting an adopted child, regardless of national origin. Excellent, empathetic and thoroughly insightful resource Cogen understands the adoptee s psyche, and know how to link every challenging behaviour to its source i.e fear of abandonment and an internalised sense of inadequacy Thoroughly engaging and practical, Cogen consistently refers to the experiences of five international adoptees she worked with from their toddler aged adoption, t through to adulthood Using their personal experiences, she itemises common problems adoptees face, and provides compassionate and practical means of support Common problems were slotted under neat, accessible, user friendly headings I enjoyed the many snippets of conversations between parent and child, as they provided insightful and pointed examples of how one might conduct conversations with their adopted kids There was no beating around the bush, vagueness or pretensions Just excellent practical advice, and their outcomes, illustrated from real live experiences of adoptees and their families Cogen consistently tackles each problem at their emotional root, always identifying the psychological insecurities underlying challenging behaviour My only criticism, is that Cogen veered into over leniency in situations of verbal abuse from pre teens and teens In such situations, advice on less permissive forms of discipline, would have been informative. Full of practical tipsI really appreciated how the author mixed examples, practical tips and research together to help adoptive families I probably over highlighted and will come back for the tips, hints and tricks for years to come One thing that she does point out at the end, but that we can forget when we re bogged down in the middle of the book, is that these situations are just one part of your life with your adoptive child There will be successes and great days and perfectly normal periods of life So keep that in mind while reading. Will continue to reference this wonderful resource as my son grows up Wonderful resource book through the years of raising adopted children I highly recommend this book for adoptive parents. Popular E Book, Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child From Your First Hours Together Through The Teen Years By Patty Cogen This Is Very Good And Becomes The Main Topic To Read, The Readers Are Very Takjup And Always Take Inspiration From The Contents Of The Book Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child From Your First Hours Together Through The Teen Years, Essay By Patty Cogen Is Now On Our Website And You Can Download It By Register What Are You Waiting For Please Read And Make A Refission For You I loved it It seemed based on the author s experience and hard research The author has hosted first year home groups for new international adopting families for years She had so many practical tips and exercises to encourage bonding between parent and child, as well as many stories to help understand the reasons behind certain patterns of behavior in adoptees She had the positive idea of their behavior being related to their survival techniques that worked pre adoption but no longer help them post adoption I also loved her idea of continually discussing the adoption story from the adoptee perspective and to do away with Gotcha Day, replacing it with the three pictures on a laminated page for the young child one pre adoption, one of the adoption, and then one post adoption,and to refer to it as the Big Change So much of their behavior is connected to that day of the Big Change I loved how she gave different personality types of children and how they react to adoption through their life from adoption to early adulthood I loved the idea of considering family age how long the child was in the family versus chronological or developmental age So helpful I did wish they had about siblings There was nothing about siblings, which I know play a big role in most families. From the absurd to the sublime You get a little of everything You can cherry pick this tome for information and decide which advice is useful for your unique situation I won t be refilling anyone s glass with Parent Juice or putting on trauma goggles or playing Parent on a Leash but I will remember to talk with my child about the adoption story from my child s point of view rather than mine As in, yes, a long anticipated day for me but a terribly confusing and frightening one for her I might not have had that perspective without this book.I might not have considered that birthdays and Mother s Father s Days could be complex and that there might be ways to alleviate the confusion prior to the day in order for the child to fully participate and enjoy those events So, for all of my kvetching about the silliness of much of the book I m not even going to get started on the concept of white privilege it was well worth reading In the interest of full disclosure I ll note that I did not read the entire book I read up to the teen years and that was about all I could handle For my purposes at this time it has been read. This will be a good reference through the years, particularly when it comes to emotional and identity development in teen years Offers some concrete strategies for dealing with the issues that arise from the origin stories of international adoptees and how they deal with unpleasant realities as they grow old enough to begin to really understand Also identifies some physical, emotional and cognitive developmental issues that come from extended institutional living The device of following five families conflated from a larger number of real situations to illustrate how some of the issues can play out behaviorally is very effective and valuable.
Is a well-known author, some of his books are a fascination for readers like in the Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child: From Your First Hours Together Through the Teen Years book, this is one of the most wanted Patty Cogen author readers around the world.
- 448 pages
- Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child: From Your First Hours Together Through the Teen Years
- Patty Cogen
- 24 April 2019 Patty Cogen